A casual conversation with a friend got me thinking. His parents are trying to find him a match, and this sparked a debate on ' why do people marry at all?'. Is it for love? yes, surely..only if you are in love. Marrying for love might be the most ideal of circumstances. But not everybody finds love. Not at the right time, not at the right age. What about arranged marriages then? Arranged marriages are a compromise right? Two people, who are scared of living alone, need companionship, need security and stability, get married, just because our forefathers adopted a tradition of monogamy and called it 'marriage'? Is there something beyond that? I've heard of 'connections', 'you'll know the right person for you' stories...but, are they for real? Doesn't the connection die out eventually? Then, whats left? Again, just the companionship and materialistic pleasures that the couple shares.
Another question that crops up, is, can all this be acheived without marriage? The same commitment, the same companionship can be well achieved without marriage. Whats missing then? Nowadays, there exists no social taboo, per se for live in relationships. Except for the government and our parents, does anybody really care about marriage? In a world of financially and emotionally independent, mature individuals, where does marriage stand??
Obviously, everybody has his or her own explanations to this debate, and they'e convinced themselves thats the right answer. Apparently, there is no right or wrong here, and the answer totally depends upon individual perceptions. So give it a good thought, and make sure you convince yourself before taking the big step!
2 comments:
marraige is a social institution, so if you forego marraige, it is a social handicap in India at certain levels.
but it doesn't matter: u can have a relationship as strong as a marraige and great sex as well!!
Marriage or live-in doesn't make that much of a difference (expect when it comes to government and law stuff like tax benefits, being able to apply for family housing, your spouse being able to drive on your insurance, etc.).
But if you think about it for a while you'll realize that marriage as all laws is designed to protect the weak, the underpriviliged and the poor. For you and me, it might not make any difference at all, but for a poor or illiterate girl, a legal obligation like marriage makes a hell of a difference. For example, if she's in a relationship with a guy and they have 2-3 children together. In such a situation "Marriage" prevents the guy from just walking out after a fight and leave her and her children to starve. So it is just a legal tool to minimize the exploitation of the weak and poor (of course, it cannot completely prevent, it can only minimize such exploitation).
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